The Outcast 25

After disregarding me as a silly ploy, he was finally committing to his Queen, and I just didn’t know what to feel about that. My wounds felt like they had been scratched. This was too soon. I wasn’t over him. I wasn’t ready to hear about being replaced and forgotten, yet I was. The agony was excruciating as hurt tears started filling my eyes. ‘Ummm www-who has he kidnapped?” I couldn’t help but allow my voice to crack. I needed to know; let the pain hurl its storming thunder towards me and punish my heart for being so naïve. ‘Miss Sarah, I am sorry. If this is too early for you, I can.’ ‘No, please, I need to know,’ I sounded so vulnerable, tiny, as I began fidgeting with my fingers and moving my gaze towards the redwood of the desk. My wails were echoing loud in my ears. ‘Okay.’ She folded her head and gave one sharp nod. ‘Ummm…it’s actually Aisha which brings me to another question.’ ‘Aisha…’My voice turned slightly high pitched and achy. ‘Yes,’ she nodded, folding her hands to continue, but I had enough. ‘Dect. Jolene,’ I abruptly got up from my chair with a stern expression. ‘I am getting married next week. I don’t think I can be of any assistance, at the moment, And frankly, I no longer want to be part of this whole case. I told the police all that I know. And now I just want to spend the rest of my life without been reminded of the police’s incompetence.’ ‘I understand, but--’ At that exact moment, the office door flung open and in stepped Charlotte looking quite frantic. ‘Boss, we have a situation. The airport control centre has its system hacked. A rather disturbing audiotape is now being played in so many planes. Someone is crying with immense agony in those tapes, along with the words ‘its hurting’ being said over and over again.’ ‘Is it Carmen?’ ‘Yes,’ Charlotte nodded, making me gasp. ‘Hmmm…’ Dect Jolene nodded, standing up. ‘Let’s go.’ ‘Ummm…Can I.’ ‘Yes, Miss Sarah.’ She turned towards me. ‘We have all the information that we need. You can go now.’ And with that, she rushed after Charlotte, leaving me standing all alone. I couldn’t understand what Carmen was doing. What was hurting him? He had Aisha the girl who seemed to replace me, always. He had her and was going to treat her like a queen. The illusion he had shown me, he would make it a reality for her. So why was he crying and hurting? And why did his pain actually shatter me? Carmen had no idea about what exactly he had lost. I was actually hurting for him, aching, because he seemed to be suffering, but I guess this was just another one of his ploys. Psychopaths tend to be attention seekers, and I guess he was just basking in all of the attention. He had a queen by his side, power in his palm. He was winning. Knowing that I could never compete with someone like Aisha, who had always been chased and adored, I kept in the shadows and had a taxi take me back home. There were tears constantly rolling down my cheeks, which I had to wipe with the back of my hand, and an empty echo of what I wanted to say to Carmen for being so unfair towards me. I wanted to punch his heart, twist his soul and ask why was he so cruel? Why couldn’t he have just cared? Dark clouds had filled the air. And soon, thick rain was pouring down the nearly empty streets. Every pedestrian seemed to be lost in his/her old routine, ignorant about a heartbroken girl who was being driven past them. The driver was taking so many sharp cuts and turns that I found it so difficult to keep up with the world, but I didn’t care. I was hurtling so badly. Carmen, Bradley …it would always be Aisha for them. Always. And I was just a fool who got to be played with. Insincere emotions and abandonment; they were all that this society was willing to offer me. I couldn’t help but think that my bullies had won. I wasn’t strong enough to be accepted. Wallowing in self-pity. I reached home and fled to my room. Thankfully, no one had actually noticed my disappearance, which was actually strange because, being the main host, my absence should have triggered panic. But I guess everyone was so busy in the preparations that small tantrums and disappearances didn’t matter. I was allowed to take time off before starting the next chapter of my life. THERE WERE STARS GLEAMING IN THEIR DREAMS… The twinkling stars, the giddy smiles, and the echo of bangles. Staring out of the living room window, I was sitting on a red cushion with a lady applying henna on my hands. My wedding day was just a day away, and everyone seemed in a giddy mood. Having me sit in the center of the room, my family and so many relatives were excitedly rushing around and passing bangles and sweets to one another. Some of my cousins were also having henna applied to their hands while the elders were busy finalizing the arrangements for tomorrow. The living room was an epitome of choas and excitement. Eyeing the bright moon outside, I turned towards the room and stared at the decorations with odd numbness. There were flower petals littering the floor…yellow fairy lights hanging from ceiling fans. All of the furniture had been pushed out an replaced by red, suffocated by the celebratory celebration. Was this how moving on felt? Often, my cousins would come up to me and playfully tease, eyeing my white floral bracelets, which were loosely hanging from my wrist, with girlish amusement. Apparently, these bangles, alongside a gift basket, had been gifted by Bradley’s family and seemed to hide the true thorns embedded in his fairytale. I was forced to wear them by my mother. Wanting to hide away yet having to endure it all, I was hardly managing to force a smile and ignore the deep sadness that was brewing inside my heart. From tomorrow, my emotions won’t matter …my feelings wouldn’t matter. I would be living a life of compromise and be treated as a burden. Bradley would always treat me as a second choice, and I would have to be okay with that… I chose to be okay with that. Carmen .. He would never get to know how badly he had ruined my heart. I would move on. Let go, and never, again, open my shields for anyone. This was all to prove that I didn’t need Carmen, that my emotions could be kept at bay. Opening up my heart to others had been a huge mistake. I think Bradley understood that perfectly. Listening as giggles floated around me, I glanced at the middle-aged lady, who was applying henna on my hands, and winced as her gaze met mine. ‘You are very quiet. Is everything okay?’ She inquired, raising an eyebrow with concern. I simply gave her a rather pained smile. ‘Yeah.’ My voice couldn’t help but sound so dull…numb and wobbly, causing her to give me a peculiar look. ‘You know, dear.’ She turned her head back towards my hands and continue working on the intricate henna design.’ there is an old saying listen to your heart before it’s too late. If something doesn’t feel right, then maybe it’s not.’ ‘Sometimes, we have no other choice but to ignore,’ I didn’t know why I was having a sudden heart - to - heart with this lady, but her remark had really triggered an emotion. She hadn’t lived my life, didn’t know how it felt to have the heart scarred again and again, so her opinions seemed really biased. ‘You always have a choice because, sometimes, our heart knows what we do not…’ ‘I..’ A sudden change in the atmosphere made my attention shift back toward the room. Many of my relatives had now begun staring out of the open main - door with signs of discomfort. There was a subtle wave of whispers echoing in the air, and I could see my mom hovering near the main door. What was going on? ‘Aisha,’ My mom welcomed, causing the shock to hit me hard. Aisha? ‘Aunty.’ She stepped inside in all her glory and embraced my mom. ‘I heard about the wedding and wanted to personally congratulate you and your family.’ ‘Thank you,’ Mama gently pulled away and moved aside. ‘Why don’t you join us for

pre-wedding preparations. All the young ladies are having henna applied on their hands.’ ‘I would love to,’ she smiled, causing the room’s mood to shift back towards excitement and chaos. Most of my relatives returned back to rushing in and out of the house. There were flower bouquets being set in different corners and dresses being ironed at the very last minute. However, among all this excitement, I couldn’t help but stare at Aisha, who was standing near the doorway, with immense shock. What was she doing here? Last I heard, Carmen was planning to marry her. Had her wedding already taken place? And if so, how was she allowed to leave and attend her ex’s wedding? It didn’t make any sense. I actually felt a pang at the thought of her already being married. While I was wallowing in self-pity and working to forget. Carmen had already moved on with his life and turned sane for his queen. It made me feel so frustrated. I was suffering for someone who didn’t even deserve it and couldn’t care less, and that just showed how much of a fool I still was. Pitiful. Feeling tears brim in my eyes, I rapidly blinked and turned my gaze back towards the henna lady, watching as she continued tinkling my hands with the cold sensation of henna. She seemed like a wise person who would never take part in gossips and truly cared. Not once had I noticed her even lift her head to take a quick glance at Aisha. It seemed like she didn’t pry in others matters and tried to keep to herself. I envied this lady’s class. ‘Did you know that flowers represent soft - hearted emotions?’ She spoke, making me feel warm at her attempts of trying to distract me. She had probably sensed that I was on the verge of breaking down. “Ummm…no.’ My voice sounded tiny. ‘They do. And that is why I am making a floral pattern on your hands. I feel like you are able to relate to these emotions. You seem like a soft soul.’ Watching as she lazily coloured the petals. I caught Aisha walking towards me and felt my breath hitch with anxiety. Why was she coming here? What did she want? I had no clues about how I was going to face her or put up a strong façade. At the moment, any mention of Carmen would surely break me. Is that why she was here? To push me until I broke. Knowing that my thoughts were probably bitter because of the blankness suddenly raging in my heart, I felt like darkly chuckling at the irony of the situation. Just when the Henna lady had called me soft-hearted. This was behind my mask. I was raging with bitterness and anger. So many people were being hated by my heart. Upon finally reaching me, Aisha gracefully settled down on a pink cushion that was placed right beside me and gave me a huge smile. ‘So, it’s been long…’ I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes. ‘Ummm..yeah…glad you could come.’ ‘I had to …’ A sudden tinge of sadness escaped into her tone, making me snap my head towards her. ‘What’s wrong?’ For a second, her happy façade turned worried, and she slowly moved closer towards me. ‘Can I talk to you… alone? She spoke, eyeing the Henna lady with distrust. I frowned in confusion. ‘Okay.’ ‘Good …let’s go to your room.’ She got up and waited for me to take the lead. Slowly patting my dress, I managed to get up with the help of the Henna lady and began guiding Aisha towards my room. My heart was aching with curiosity and suspense. What was going on? What had got Aisha so worried and tense with the dire need to pull me away from the crowd? Upon reaching my room and stepping inside, she waited until I locked the door and turned around. ‘Jean sent me here,’ she confessed, picking on her fingernails in anxiety. A sudden sharp pain stung my heart. ‘Oh,’ I moved my gaze away from her, chewing on my thumbnail. ‘What did she want?’ I sounded too formal to my own ears. ‘She wants you to come back. Carmen had finally snapped.’ ‘Well, that is no longer my problem.’ ‘NO,’ she interrupted, anxiously starting to pace around my room. ‘You don’t understand.’ She stopped to give me a desperate look. ‘Jean told me to tell you that Carmen lied.’ My heart stilled at that. ‘He lied about me being his obsession. It was all to send you away. I was only being kept captive until you got married because Carmen knew that choosing me was the only thing that could make you let go. In fact, he was himself made sure that Dect. Jolene told you about him marrying me which was a complete lie.’ ‘I don’t understand,’ I stuttered, turning completely blanched. Carmen lied? But why? What was going on? If Aisha hadn’t been his obsession, then what was the point in this charade? Why capture me and recklessly break my heart in the attempt of setting me free? It made no sense. ‘Look, I don’t know what happened,’ She squeezed the bridge of her nose, allowing the bright moonlight, which was pouring in from the window and covering every inch, to cast a shade on her face. ‘but just last night, Jean had me secretly escape from Carmen’s dungeon because it was a huge mess down there. So much aggression and panic. Apparently, Carmen’s mother had just got hospitalized three days ago which finally pushed him to snap. He was throwing a rage- temper over the fact that I was the new prisoner, snarling at whoever dared to approach him and sobbing over how he wanted you back because he couldn’t lose you. Jean said that his abandonment and bipolar complexes had been triggered because of their mother’s health, but I believe it was more of an outburst. His tantrums sounded lonely and frustrated,’ she finished, moving closer to me. I felt speechless. This was news.!!!!