The Outcast 17

‘HENCE, HIS LIFE SWINGS LIKE A PENDULUM TO AND FRO BETWEEN PAIN AND BOREDOM, AND THESE TWO ARE IN FACT ITS ULTIMATE CONSTITUENTS.’

‘You are going to stop him,’ she kept her gaze fixated on the road. ‘He'LL probably going to carve, be all sorts of crazy, but I know he will listen to you.  Tell him that it’s not his fault because it isn’t..’

‘But what exactly am I supposed to say?’

‘That what happened to Sofie was because of her own choice.  He had nothing to do with it,’ she instructed, making me frown.  But it sort of was Carmen’s fault, my heart twisted at that.

Upon telling me that Carmen was off to do who knows what, Jean had

dragged me to a red car parked outside the luxurious hotel and pushed me inside it. In order to keep me in on things, she shared the story of Carmen’s late wife - the woman whom his mom made him marry. That woman did he, so she escaped at the first chance she got. She frantically drove across a whole country and easily become a victim of high speed, her car accidentally collided against another car, causing her to die on the spot. It was an accident, yet Carmen shared its blame because the fear of him could do that, had caused that woman to drive at such a fast speed. However, Ouma was the only one who got to know about Sofie’s death. That is how she lost her sanity. Ouma loved Sofie dearly, yet knew Carmen wasn’t bad either. It was just that things were so complicated. Ouma wasn’t really doing well, even before that. Honestly, I felt bad for both Sofie and Carmen, I knew how it felt to be rejected and betrayed, yet I knew what it felt like to stay in a prison. I was so conflicted, I just could no longer imagine Carmen as a complete monster. Some of his traits, they weren’t bad. ‘Jean’, A thought came to my mind. ‘What kind of crimes is Carmen exactly involved in?’ She gave me a weird look. ‘You don’t know.’ ‘Well,’ I shifted my gaze away, Fidgeting with my sleeves. ‘The police was never specific. All I know is that he is some sort of a genius criminal who had managed to fool the entire arm force for an extremely long time.’ ‘Well, he doesn’t kill or anything,’ she awkwardly shifted her gaze back towards the road, ‘He is just super into committing technical, Mafia - based routine work. He is the leader so is more of the mastermind; only plotting major hijacking or hostage crimes.’ ‘That doesn’t make it any better,’ I frowned. My soul squeezing in pain. ‘It doesn’t,’ she shook her head in a sad manner. ‘but who said it was supposed to. This is the choice he made. He was gifted with brains, so he used his demons to lead him this way. It will make sense if you are truly able to understand how our world works.’ ‘Maybe, I don’t want to know how it works,’ I lowered my head, speaking in a low tone, ‘Maybe, I won’t be able to save.’ ‘Hmmm, tell that to the man who was getting his arms treated because of the snake bites he had to deal with, because of you. And trust me, that was not an easy process.’ she let out a bitter chuckle, making me feel even more pained. I..I didn’t know what to say at that. Carmen, why was I no longer hating him? ‘Do you want to hear a fun story?’ Jean suddenly changed the topic. I gave her a confused look. ‘O..okay..’ I drawled. ‘That hotel, we were staying at, Carmen had nearly bought it in less than R10.00 after completely manipulating and fooling its owner. He figured out the owner’s insecurities and weaknesses by observing him for only five minutes, and it took one coffee catch - up to get that guy begging Carmen to not take away his life savings.’ ‘And he didn’t?’ I gave her a curious look. She shook her head in a defeated manner. ‘He made a choice to show mercy like he always should.’ A moment of silence settled between us, and I finally grabbed Jean’s right hand, giving her a half smile, ‘You are right about one thing; he does deserve a chance. His gesture back at the hotel, it was sweet.’ She squeezed my hand back in return. ‘I know. By the way, there is another fun fact.’ ‘What?’ I raised my right eyebrow in suspicion. ‘This route we are driving through,’ she drawled, making me urge her to continue. ‘What about it?’ ‘Carmen actually figured it out by only looking at some pictures in the magazines. That man has such an incredibly high IQ. It’s so unbelievable.’ ‘That’s something I can’t deny.’ I finally chuckled, letting go of her hand. ‘He is a genius.’ ‘Agreed,’ She smiled. And with that, a comfortable silence spread as both of us began staring outside the window, growing lost deep in our thoughts. Dark clouds were roaring in the sky; rumbling and colliding in a rather furious manner. Carmen’s Dubai-undergrounds reeked with immense danger and threat, built so far away from the heavy city life. There was menacing darkness overshadowing its tall building, rough and black grounds making up the boundaries. Also, black - masked men could be seen walking in and out of the huge, extremely illegal, and creepy-looking building, loading their heavy guns for no reasons. I gulped in fear. The huge roar of guns was so tangible in the air, the smell of smoke and blood so potent. I found myself shivering at the sound of promising screams of torture and pain escaping from the dark and monotonous building. Chewing on my fingernails, I watched as Jean secretly parked our car under a huge tree which was part of the thin forest lining the fields. Quickly stepping out of the car, she began rushing down the heavily guarded fields while ordering me to follow. ‘Oh, and beware of the guarding - tigers.’ Her order made me gasp. ‘What?’ ‘Come on!’ Incredibly scared, I felt a bit relief at the fact that the guards didn’t even try to stop Jean and I. In fact, they seemed to grow extra alert and attentive at our presence. Carmen. Rushing towards the main door, we stepped back, as the guards opened it for us, and moved inside. There were dark and shabby corridors leading to different sections of the place, screams echoing, torch lights hanging from different corners. ‘Ummm…Jean.’ ‘I know,’ She gave me a curt nod. ‘This is more of a punishment ground for Carmen. He tends to keep most of his prisoners here.’ ‘Oh,’ a freezing sense of fear jolted my soul. Stomping across the corridors, we kept close and nervously eyed different cages lining up against the wide corridor’s walls; some covered with stale blood and some having rats chew on who knows what. There was even a glass cage with numerous snakes coiled inside it along with some bones scattered on its floor. Witnessing was so much worse than hearing. Carmen was a known psycho, yet witnessing this side of him was so scary. However, despite shivering with fear, I felt like I need to be where Carmen was. He was suddenly both danger and shelter for me. Insane. The smell of blood seemed to be toying with my brain and clogging my thought. Not wanting to witness something I really didn’t want to see, something that would change my mind about Carmen, I decided to avert my gaze and stare ahead. He - I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. My emotions, Carmen; they all were a whole new chapter. I felt making an effort, even when I had let Bradley go. Sitting on the dirty marble - floor, with legs sprawled, arms keeping his back up, and a crowbar loosely held in one hand, Carmen was looking up at the grey ceiling eyeing cobwebs while hiding a subtle smirk behind his mask. Sofie, he knew she had died, the moment she left, he had sensed she wouldn’t make it. She seemed extremely impulsive and reckless; she was bound to make terrible mistakes. In fact, the very next day, he had personally looked up for any news related to car accidents, Sofie had never been excellent at driving. That was his manipulation. Letting circumstances and a person’s own vulnerabilities become their downfall was how he had dealt with many whom he didn’t like. Sofie crashed her car on her own, yet she did it out of fear. He knew she was scared, he knew exactly why she was this tremendously scared of him, but so did Ouma which was extremely unfortunate because, today, his own mother had threatened to tell the only ray of hope in his life about one of his darkest revenge plots. It was a secret he considered as one of his morbid achievements. Sarah couldn’t know… When trapped in the basement, craving marks on his skin and having Ouma - his dearest mom-personally look the basement door from outside, Carmen always had this one girl knocking on the basement window from outside. She used to mock him, throw stones against the glass, and bring friends along to laugh at his imprisonment. She was his next-door neighbour and often had her brothers beat him up behind the boy’s playground. Carmen never retaliated, he was quiet, observant-someone who held on to a grudge until the right moment to strike arrived, and that opportunity came when Ouma decided to get him married to that girl. Bull’s eye. His snake cage, dark cells, Sofie was threatened by all, turning her into a regretful victim. The day they got married, she had quickly caught on to how badly she previously messed up after recognizing the dark and loathful edge in Carmen’s composed mannerism. Her twelve - year old soul had failed to show that there was great darkness hiding in the disguise of a timid boy, and now that boy was a vengeful criminal rejected by him had led to deadly consequences. However, after losing Sofie, having her run away, Carmen was disappointed, hurt, even. People just ran, they hid, feared, fought, despised or ran. They were all the same except her, and he couldn’t tolerate her loathing him, too. She was the beacon who was hurting in the same manner he was, make him breathe, because he only got to know about air (his oxygen) after finding that wave. Feeling himself in a mood to simply destroy and punish others for his own demons, he had lined up three of his workers in the grey chambers of his Dubai headquarters and was enjoying their terrified stance as they nervously eyed him holding a crowbar while looking quite insane, crazy. His unpredictable ways, they were the biggest emotional torture for anyone. Having them shake and tremble while knowing this was the moment that any of their previous mistakes would now allow their boss to take that as an opportunity to strike, Carmen felt his demons roaring with menacing laughter. The fear grew as his laughter began booming in the room, shaking the walls. ‘LAUGH WITH ME!!’ The anxious workers were quick to obey. They were completely creeped out by how their boss was acting yet had to forcefully laugh, eyeing their boss sitting on the floor and hoping for him to cool down. He didn’t. He was in a dark mood. Their boss’s laughter was followed by a dark cry… a shattering sound of sobs, he was crying, screaming with huge tears, yet these were signs of vulnerability, signs of immense darkness and danger haunting one man’s soul, the existence of insanity. With knuckles being randomly cracked, black - mask glued even tighter, Carmen was about to throw his crowbar randomly in the air when stomped in the sound of the homely wave reaching near the doorway. Light can’t be ignored, she didn’t even say anything. In fact, even her gaze was lowered, but he could sense she wanted him to stop. So he did. For her, he would turn towards the light. ‘I am only stopping because of you. But next time, I don’t want you to even step near this place. If I ever see you putting yourself in danger, someone will pay the consequences.’ His voice was cold, but his intentions, they had never been Purer.

‘HENCE, HIS LIFE SWINGS LIKE A PENDULUM TO AND FRO BETWEEN PAIN AND BOREDOM, AND THESE TWO ARE IN FACT ITS ULTIMATE CONSTITUENTS.’