The Outcast 12

‘So, you want to go back to Bradley?’ He growled ferociously in return, his huge silhouette finally coming in front of the window. ‘What? No- and be in his Crosshairs?’ ‘Don’t you remember he rejected you.’ he rather rudely interrupted, making my heart shatter in pain. ‘They will live the life of luxury, say yes, just sign the marriage licence, and I will make sure they live the life of luxury. Everything that you want, I will get it, do it all for you, JJ-just stay, please..’ I don’t know why but hearing him desperately pleading while having his voice crack in pain made me sob out loud. This was one messed - up man I was dealing with. So much damage, so much mess. His pain, it made me remember mine. ‘Stay’ I wanted so many people to stay in my life, but many left. Somehow, I wasn’t good enough for them, and Carmen, he was asking me to stay. This, this was too much asking me to stay. This, this was too much of havoc on my heart. I didn’t know how to deal with this, how to overcome the intensity of emotions. ‘Don’t give me that. You have had so many obsessions before me, Sofie, your wife, she stayed, so where is she now?’ I lashed back, not knowing how to deal with the emotions. Anger seemed like the only solution to avoid the crushing feeling of anxiety and chaos. ‘No one matter to me like you. Sofie died because she knew I never cared. I only care about you, an I know you do, too. You wouldn’t leave.’ A sudden laugh escaped into his tone. ‘You won’t leave me at any time. You are good, you care because you know the consequences of what I will do if you don’t’ the roaring anger was back. This man was completely bipolar. ‘You can’t make me stay,’ I shakily retorted, keeping my gaze cautiously fixated on the silhouette outside while subtly backing toward the kitchen exit. One wrong move an I would lock myself with the old lady. ‘I can’t’, he yelled in return, causing the window to shake. ‘You will give me a chance, you have to,’ his tone dropped several octaves. ‘You are the only one who does.’ Sheer loneliness. I could sense that in his tone. Somehow, my heart pang upon picking up this man’s pained voice. I knew what loneliness felt like, what rejection felt like. Their sting, it was awful. This man’s sanity seemed completely damaged, he seemed so badly broken by pain and agony. What made him like this? I know every monster has a back-story; there are some evil people and some broken, yet one has no right to use their pain as an excuse to heart. I could understand but I could never accept cruelty. ‘You are one messed up man,’ I heaved a sigh, turning away from him and shedding a few more tears. ‘I can’t help you with that.’ ‘I know, I didn’t ask your help either. Just say yes, say yes, please.’ ‘I am sorry, but I won’t,’ I kept my back towards him. This was painful and extremely agonizing, all the pleading, the begging, I didn’t feel good about it, but this man wasn’t mentally sane. I couldn’t allow him to jeopardize my future, I couldn’t accept defeat without a fight. Immediately a strong punch landed against the window and Carmen started crackling in bitter pain. ‘No, she says no again. She doesn’t like her home.’ She is saying ‘NO” again, but Carmen doesn’t take no’s. He doesn’t take NOS. Sarah will accept him.’ Terrified, I let out a muffled whimper and immediately ran out of the kitchen, making my way straight towards the old lady’s room but it was locked. What the heck. Huge tears were falling as I began pounding on the old lady’s door, begging her to open the door. However, at that exact moment, the front door’s knob began rattling vigorously. Carmen was coming inside the house. Trembling, I was fearfully watching the front door’s knob rattle furiously while the old lady’s door remained shut. I could run towards the other room, (which I rarely used) but, it felt too late now. With a loud thud, the front door opened wide yet, at the same time, the old lady’s room door opened, too. I immediately hugged the old lady and used her wheel-chair to hide behind. Carmen was now stomping his way towards us. ‘Move, Ouma’ He was literally hovering over the old lady. I bent even lower. ‘No’, She frowned, grabbing the arms of her chair. ‘Leave Sofie alone.’ ‘Ouma’ ‘You are scaring the poor girl! Go - don’t hurt her again.’ She tried to push him away. I winced in fear. ‘Fine.’ Carmen angrily retorted. ‘But tell her.’ he pointed a finger towards me. ‘Tell her that I will vow her, I will make her accept me. She won’t get to hide from me any longer. I will not let her run.’ And with that, he once again stomped out of the house, grumbling all the way out. I took a deep breath in relief. Where did he disappear? How he managed to suddenly appear in this place? I had no ideas, yet I didn’t want to know either. He could go wherever he wanted, just as long as he stayed away from me. ‘Thank you,’ I lowly expressed my gratitude towards the old lady, slowly getting up while watching the front door slam with a loud thud. ‘Thank you so much.’ She turned her head towards me and gave me a warm smile. No problem, but my dear, give him a chance. I know what he’s doing is wrong, but he does deserve a chance. I have never seen him so crushed before, he cares, he truly cares.’ ‘Ouma, he doesn’t, trust me, what he is doing is wrong, very wrong.’ and with that, I tightly hugged the old woman, crying and whimpering in the nape of her neck, and she let me, and old lady suffering from dementia, delusional beyond belief, was the one of the rare people in my life who could actually understand and remember my pain, she was a helping shoulder found at a very wrong place. A couple of days, soon, went by with no activity or dangerous appearance, and it was at the end of the week that Jean once again appeared at my prison. ‘Miss me? She was in an awfully good mood. I felt suspicious. ‘I brought food,’ she raised her bags in return, eyeing my distrustful emotions. Ignoring her completely, I continued making an omelette in the kitchen. I know I was being rude, but I had enough with this girl. I had no idea about how I knew her from before, and if my oblivious nature was going to be a reason for her to use me as her punching bag, I wasn’t having it. Take me home or just don’t talk to me, please. I couldn’t tolerate such attitudes. ‘Look about that day.’ Her voice turned a bit apologetic, probably fidgeting with her fingers. ‘I didn’t meant it, I was just being bitter, feeling a bit jealous, but I am over it now, completely over the pain.’ I turned towards her with a huge frown on my face. ‘Jealous??’ ‘My step - brother is the only one I have.’ ‘Step - brother?’ ‘Well, my father married Carmen’s mom, so that makes us step-siblings,’ ‘Hmmm, what are you doing back here, again?’ I turned back towards the stove, scowling as the shape of my omelette broke, ARGH! ‘Well, Carmen decided it’s finally time to give you a tour of our southern and northern lands, maize fields before your marriage with him, so I am here to take you on a ride. I have parked our car in the shed outside.’ I immediately trembled in fear. ‘ I am not going anywhere with you.’ I profusely shook my head, placing the omelette on a white plate. It was too hot to eat. Steaming black bitter coffee was next to the white plate, the coffee cup was white also with these words on it, ‘MORNING GORGEOUS.’ ‘Well, you got no choice my sweetheart. Either come with me or have Carmen return back and have you marry him at once. Your choice…’