THE CAGED BIRD

CHAPTER 6

The magazines felt like heavy weights on my lap. I could not speak. Silence filled the room. Time went by.

“Look Ava, I know you don’t know my son, I can understand this might be difficult for you. But this wedding will take place, nothing can change that. SO, I suggest you quit your whining about this and pick out a wedding dress.’ Miranda said stern.

I looked at her. Her lips were pressed in a thin line and she had a deep frown plastered on her forehead. Her eyes cold, telling me to obey her.

I looked back at the magazines and slowly opened them. Looking at the white dresses. None of them were appealing to me. Nothing about all of this was appealing to me, but apparently. I whined, and I did not want to displease her. So, I started to act like a proper lady and listened to my elders.

“The pages with the folded ears are the dresses that might be fitting for you.’ I turned to the next page with a folded ear. ‘Oh, this is my favourite. I really think, after seeing you, you will look absolutely in this one.’

The page showed a beautiful woman. She had a chic, long sleeve wedding dress on. The fabric was completely white with no lace covering it. It had only some decorations around the shoulders. It was simple, but incredibly beautiful.

I softly let my hand run down on the page, my fingertips gently caressing the paper as I was touching the dress itself.

‘I see you like it as well. Good, I will order it and make an appointment with the company for them to come here so you can try it on.’ Miranda already busy on her phone.

I had not said a word about the dress, yet she made the appointment. Yes, it was a pretty dress, but I did not want to decide. I know from the movies, this was for the women an important part of the whole event. I wanted to wait as well. But not necessarily to be sure I would be beautiful in the dress, no I had hoped by stalling my decision making I would stall thinking about this as well, about the wedding.

‘Okay, now we are done with the most difficult part, we can go to the easy part.’ Miranda said with a smile. The whole afternoon we were busy with planning the wedding. I hated every minute of it but did not dare to show it.

At this point I did not care anymore about my wedding. I used to. I had hoped I would fall deeply in love with a man or woman who would care for me, who would love me for who I am, who would spend the rest of my life with me. It did not matter anymore. Apparently, just how I lived my life had to be same as my wedding. Choices being made for me….

‘Oh, I almost forgot, the lingerie.’ I blushed at that. How could she speak so openly about such a private matter? This was not a topic a proper lady should not engage herself with.

Miranda noticed my behaviour. ‘Don’t be such a prude. We all know what will be going on, on your wedding night and as the woman you should dress properly for the occasion. Now, how are you feeling about wearing something from Victoria Secrets?’

It felt like my cheeks were on fire. She was so blunt about all of this. Right now, I could only thank my Father for permitting me to see some movies about romantic relationships and of course for my Biology lessons. If I Did not know what Miranda meant by this, it would be only worse?

Embarrassment filled my body, but that was not the only thing. I was scared as well. Wedding night? Does that mean… No that could not be the case, right? We had only met once and to top that, we had not even spoken to each other.

‘Well, do you like Victoria Secrets or should we look at some other brands?’

Miranda asked Again….

I shook my embarrassing and frightful thoughts away and focused on my soon to be mother - in - law.

‘Victoria Secrets?’

I asked. I had never heard of the brand……

‘Yes dear, Victoria Secrets. Have you not heard of the brand before?’ I shook my head.

‘Oh my, well let me see if I have a magazine.’ She went through her bag and fished out a crumbled bundle of papers, which had to be a magazine.

‘Here it is, look into it and show me what you like. I will make some calls outside.’ With that she left me to this unknown lingerie brand. As I was looking through it, my cheeks flushed red again. I had absolutely no idea what to pick, what to like. The bra’s and underwear I was wearing now, were always simple. No lace, no extreme colours.

When Miranda came back, I still had not made up my mind yet. ‘Well?’

‘III don’t know…’ I whispered.

‘What don’t you know dear?’

‘What to pick.’ I looked down, not daring to make eye contact with her.

‘Oh, okay, well you did not know the brand, so I assume you don’t have much experience with this. Let me pick something out, I promise it will fit with your dress.’ I only nodded my head. Hoping she would change the topic.

After that Miranda said we were done with everything and that she would be coming over in two weeks, for the dress fitting.

I was glad when she had left. Thinking about the wedding was something I tried to avoid at all costs.

Today was my birthday. All my life this day meant that we would spend the day as a normal family. My brother would be at home and my father was mostly in the living room instead in his office.

We would have cake, gifts and some music. We would have a big brunch and dinner and the whole house would be decorated.

Of course, the older I got, the less lavish it would be, but still spending time together was something that remained the same.

Today, however, things would be different. Today would not only be my brother and father at the house, but my future husband and his parents as well. To say I was nervous was an understatement. It would be the second time meeting my soon to be spouse and our wedding was only a week away.

I was waiting in my bedroom in a neat dress. My father had said they would arrive around four in the afternoon. I was fumbling with my fingers, who were slightly shaking.

Then, all the sudden, somebody knocked on my door, I gasped from shock. I was in my own world of worries, that I did not expect a sound being made around me. ‘COME IN.’ I said in a timid voice. Lucky, the person on the other side had heard my welcoming words.

It was my brother.

‘Hey there birthday girl, how are you doing?’ He asked with a smile.

‘I’m fine.’ I said with a forced smile.

‘Ava, you don’t have to lie to me. Tell me. How are you truly feeling?’ Xavier pressed.

‘Absolutely terrified.’