THE CAGED BIRD

Chapter 3

Last night I took it hard, my loneliness. Often I tried to find ways to fill up that emptiness inside of me, but when confronted with the reality it’s hard. It’s hard when you can’t even spend time with your own family, the only people you have ever known.

But today was a new day. I could not be grieving all the time about the fact I was alone, that would only make me sadder and lonelier. No, each new day needed to be faced with a new ounce of happiness that is the only way to survive.

I got myself freshened up and picked ‘proper’ clothes to wear for a proper lady. This meant a skirt, not too long, not too short. Matched with a blouse. I tied my hair in a ponytail and headed to the dining room for breakfast.

Normally I would be alone, but now I saw my brother already sipping his coffee at the dining table. With a smiling face, I greeted him. ‘Morning,’ I chirped.

‘Good Morning, little sis. Did you sleep well?’

Xavier asked as he put his phone away.

‘Yes, and you?’

“I always sleep well after being away from home so long,’ my brother said with a grin.

I sat down in front of him. Today Xavier was dressed in just a shirt and some slacks, and I could see how his muscles had grown. Every time he came back he seemed to grow bigger and bigger in size.

‘Have you been working out a lot?’ I asked.

Xavier smiled and flexed his right arm. ‘Yeah, you noticed? I think I am making great progress. What do you think?’ He now had both his arms flexed.

‘It’s great you are working out, Xavier,’ I just said. I was mostly happy that he wasn’t stuck working all the time.

Right then, father walked in. ‘Good morning father.’ We both said in unison. He greeted us back and joined us for breakfast. Father and Xavier discussed some matters until my brother turned to me. ‘So how far along are you with your schoolwork?’

‘It’s going great. I have now finished high school and Mr Wright is letting me choose in which field I want to explore more. He said he couldn’t help me with getting a college degree as he did with my matric certificate, but he said he could prepare me if I ever wanted to go to a top college.’ I said, quite proud of myself for finishing high school at the age of seventeen. Mr Wright said that most students were done at the age of eighteen.

‘Well, that’s good to hear Ava. I’m proud of you.’ I smiled. I did not hear those words a lot, so it filled me with pride. Maybe a bit too much.

I had never had the courage to ask what I was about to do, but now I did.

‘Speaking of college…. Is it possible… for me to enrolling one, father?’

My father’s forehead creased, his eyebrows going up. ‘What part of ‘never leaving this house ‘do you not understand Ava?? ?’ He asked. Anger clearly evident on his face.

‘You can’t mean forever, right?’ At some point, I will have to be independent, like Xavier.’ I said as a matter of fact.

My father slammed both of his hands on the table. I flinched. ‘You dumb and naïve child! You think you can be independent, after being protected behind these four walls for all these years! After I protected you all this time! You will leave this house when I give you permission to do so. And for your knowledge that isn’t anytime soon!’ My father roared.

His words hurt me. I knew I would lack some life experience because I had never been in the outside world, but that was not my fault. But then again, I never really showed my father how badly I wanted to leave this place, so maybe he was right. Maybe I am indeed dumb and naïve. Maybe I could not be as independent as my brother.

‘HHhow about an online college? Mr Wright sssaid that wwwwas possible…’

Father sighed, which wasn’t a good sign. I had infuriated him. ‘Ava,’ He started out in a whisper.

‘I have told you that you cannot attend any college. What part of the sentence do you not understand?’

I looked down, at my lap. Trying to hold back my tears.

‘Father, if I may…’ My brother started but was cut off. ‘No, you may not! Do not try and meddle with this Xavier. Ava perfectly knows where her place is. Now go, do the assignments that were given to you.’ The latter was directed to me.

I stood up and made my way to the library to do my school work. Well, I could not call it schoolwork anymore as I was done with high school.

I was trying to read the literature that Mr Wright had assigned to me, but it was hard as more and more tears escaped my eyes.

I got frustrated. Again I was crying, again I felt miserable in this prison of a house. I started to hate it, as this was going to be my place to live for many years. Tears would not help me.

As I was turning to the last page of the book, my brother walked in. I quickly wiped the remaining tears on my cheeks away. ‘Hello Xavier, what are you doing here?’ I asked trying to sound casual.

‘To make sure you’re okay. But clearly, you are not.’ He said with a sad face. I felt guilty for making him sad. If my brother were to be here it had to be a time filled with happiness and laughter, not tears. ‘What do you mean? I’m fine.’

‘Ava, you don’t have to pretend for me. Father clearly went out of line. He should not have spoken to you like that.’ My brother had now joined me on the couch I was sitting on.

‘No, don’t say that. Father was … I right. I could never live on my own.’ I said with a sad smile. I did not want my brother to have a fight with our father because of me.

Xavier put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a kiss on my head. ‘Father should have never kept you in here.’ That was all he said.

I appreciated his words. I leaned into his side, enjoying his embrace of comfort.

After a moment of silence, he was the first one to speak up. ‘I’m afraid to tell you that I’ll be leaving, but don’t worry. In three weeks, I’ll be back for the party.’

‘What party?’ I asked with a confused face. Never had I heard father speak about a party, but then again he did not talk to me a lot.

‘Just a party father is giving for some friends. I’ll be back then, okay?’

I nodded my head. He stood up, gave me one last kiss on my head, and left. The whole day I kept myself busy with the question, why was father planning a party?