GUILTY 33

AFTER

Teddy White

Friday. May 19, 2016

It’s after three o’clock when I leave Margery’s house with the girl. And I just had the biggest favour handed to me.

After taking the baby to Andy’s place last night, I drove around and grabbed some dinner before heading back to the motel to crash. This morning when I got up, I decided to continue with my most recent plan on taking the eleven year old. My plan was to go to Margery’s, knock her out, then wait for the kid to get home from school so I could take her. But it looks like someone already took care of that for me, because when I got here, I discovered that Margery was already dead.

It’s as though someone knew my plan and had it taken care of for me! Now I don’t even need to get my hands dirty! From there, everything else happened seamlessly. I waited for the kids to get home from school, then sedated her and put her in the trunk. I’m sure no one will even notice that she’s gone.

Her dead mother sure as hell won’t.

---------

Detective Gerald Sullivan

Sunday May 21, 2016

One of the crime scene analysts brings me over a plastic zip - lock baggy containing her cell phone. I pull on a pair of latex gloves and slide the phone out of the bag. I power it on, waiting for the screen to load. Once it’s on, I see the two missed calls from my own number.

I go immediately to the text messages, hoping there’s something there, I scroll down, but there’s no Teddy’s. Perhaps she has him under a different name?

I open each and every text message, but there’s nothing out of the ordinary. Text’s to friends, family members, mothers from school.

Suddenly I remember something she wrote in the journal. I move my finger back to the home button and click on outgoing calls. Sure enough, there are thirteen outgoing calls made from Thursday night up until Friday morning. This had to be him. She was probably calling all night, desperately trying to get a hold of the guy.

‘Hey,’ I call out to one of the men standing beside the counter. ‘Can you get a trace on a number for me?’

The man walks over. ‘What’s the number?’ he asks. He brings out an iPad and I recite it to him.

After a moment of searching, he turns to me.

‘It’s a payphone. The corner of Kimberly and Olivier.’

Dammit, of course it’s a pay phone.

‘Robbins!’ I wave her over. ‘We’re going for a drive.’

--------

Winston Waters

Friday May 19, 2016

This is a nightmare. I’m living my real life nightmare. The thought that something like this could ever truly happen never crossed my mind. You see it on the news all the time, but you never actually think something that horrible could happen to you.

It’s surreal. I’ve been in a state of shock since I found the crib empty last night. Why? The question I keep asking myself, over and over again. But no one’s going to answer me. Nobody knows why.

From the moment I walked through the door and saw the empty crib, my heart was ripped out of my body. I didn’t know it was humanly possible to feel such immense pain. I didn’t know what to think. Did Doctor Kelvin come over and take her out? Is she on a play - date? Did she have an appointment I was unaware of?

My spirit remained hopeful - that perhaps my fear was a mistake and everything was fine after all. I was just being a paranoid father. But when I saw Danny asleep on the couch …Something inside didn’t feel right. And when she was just as clueless as I was about our daughter’s whereabouts, the dread was back.

My initial thought - which patricianly remains in my mind today - is that Danny did something to our baby. It’s the most likely possibility out of everything that could have happened. She’s been better the past two months, no longer crying and having meltdowns on a regular basis. She was better. I honestly believed that she was cured.

I guess no one can truly be cured from something that extreme. But regardless of all the trauma she went through, how could she have done something to her own child? Was her state of mind that bad that she finally had enough? Did she snap? Drop Emerald? Strangle her? Smother her with a pillow?

I can’t help but envision the worst. Danny kneeling over Emerald’s tiny lifeless body, unsure of what to do next. The chills run down my spine just thinking about it.

Did she kill our daughter? I’d like to believe otherwise. But how can I be sure? I don’t even know her anymore. And she doesn’t even know me.

I’ve been driving around since early this morning, trying to think and clear my head. What can I do to help my baby? Is she even alive right now?

I feel like a failure, letting her down when she needs me the most. I’m her father for God’s sakes, I’m supposed to be there for her! But where was I when something happened to her?

The hardest part is simply trying to analyze the situation and distinguish between what I think happened, and the truth. Is it a possibility that Danny killed our daughter? Yes. And that frightens me. But there could be other factors involved. What if she was kidnapped? Who would do such a thing, take a six - month - old baby from her crib?

It’s not fair. Why did this happen to Emerald? She’s so small and innocent. I yearn for the power to do something about this. If only I could fly to her, scoop her up in my arms, tell her that daddy’s here and everything will be all right. But I I can’t do that.

The feeling of anxiety has been pressing in my chest since yesterday morning after Danny’s latest break down with Savannah. I thought she was fine. I truly and honestly believed that. Could something have happened after I left? Did she have a break down and do something to Emerald? Could all of this be my fault? I should have never left her alone with our daughter. I slam my hands down on the steering wheel and try to fight back the tears as they come.

I haven’t spoken to Rosie since last Wednesday at the Coffee Shop. God, just thinking of her brings back memories of the terrible conversation.

We left things on a bad note. She’s pissed, I get that. But it’s not my responsibility anymore. I told her what I thought we should do - the right thing to do - and she didn’t listen. That’s not my fault. If she wants to keep the baby, then by all means, she can. I told her it won’t be possible for me to take part in the child’s life. She has to understand that. I told her what we were getting ourselves into from the beginning. I have a wife. I have a daughter. If Danny ever finds out about the affair, she’ll take Emerald away from me. I know she will. It will break her. I can’t do that to either of them. I may not have been the best man in the past, or even now, but I can be a good father to Emerald. I have to .

With Rosie, it’s different. I never planned for things to go as far as they did. Would I go back in time and take it all back? Of course not. We had fun. But it was just a fling, Spur of the moment. Temporary. Lust, not Love. She helped me realize who I am at this point in my life and what I need to make myself happy. I know now that Danny and I can’t stay together. I fear she will only bring me down. Perhaps I’m doing the same to her. We’re bringing each other down.

There was once a time when we were young and in love. And it may have taken going through hell and back to realize our true feelings for each other, but at least now I know where I stand. I can’t stay with Danny. But I will fight my hardest to be the primary figure in Emerald’s life. Because she is the most important thing in mine.

Just like that, I decide to detour and go to Rosie’s place. Maybe she’ll talk to me. I do feel partially responsible for her anguish. It’s been a week since we last spoke, her words still lingering fresh on my mind. The way her eyes looked so angry yet sad all at once.

Is she in love with me? I’ve never wondered that before, but right now, the thought crosses my mind.

She has to talk to me. I need to tell her about Emerald, maybe find some solace that I can’t find at home. She was the one person I could talk to for all those months. Every time Danny had a breakdown or couldn’t cope. I’d turn to Rosie. We may not be on good terms, but she’s the only person I want to be with right now. What does that say about me?

I pull into the driveway, eyeing the Impala as I get out of the car, and hustle up the steps. I ring the doorbell three times, hoping she’ll answer quickly.

Within minutes, she’s at the door pulling it open, staring at me. Her face is a mixture between anger and disgust. She wants nothing to do with me.

Within minutes, she’s at the door pulling it open, staring at me. Her face is a mixture between anger and disgust. She wants nothing to do with me.

“What do you want?’

‘Can I come in?’ I ask.

She glares at me, then takes a step back, allowing me to enter her home, She stands back and crosses her arms, waiting for me to say something.

‘Emerald is missing,’ I say. I try to watch for any flicker in her eyes, but her facial expression doesn’t change. She stares at me with that pissed - off glare.

‘Did you hear what I said? My daughter is missing.’

‘I heard you. What do you expect me to do about it?’

My jaw twitches and I try to contain my frustration. Here I was thinking she would care even the slightest. Perhaps show some concern for an infant, considering she once raised one and could now possibly have another.

‘Are you fucking kidding me right now, Rose? Show some compassion.’

‘Oh, that’s gold, Winston. Where the hell was your compassion during our conversation last week, huh? You heartless piece of shit.’

‘Don’t turn this on me. This has nothing to do with us,’ I say.

She turns away from me and begins walking towards the kitchen. I follow behind her.

‘Don’t walk away from me.’ I raise my voice.

She reaches the fridge, swings open the door, and pulls out a bottle of water. I watch as she unscrews the cap, tilts the liquid back into her mouth.

I stare at her, breathing heavily through my nostrils, trying to stay calm as she swishes the water around in her mouth, then swallows. She glares back at me, not saying a word.

‘Do you not care that my child is missing?’

‘What happened, Winston? Your wife finally snapped and killed her?’

I feel my heart sink in my chest and I’m suddenly filled with rage, but also dread, because I fear that she’s right. ‘Don’t say that.’ I never should have confided in her about Danny’s past.

‘Why? You don’t think it’s possible? Come on, Winston. Why are you really here?’

‘We haven’t spoken since last week. I wanted to see if you were okay.’

‘Bullshit,’ she spits. ‘You could care less about me or this baby.’ She glances down at her flat stomach.

I take a step forward and she flinches back.

‘Don’t touch me.’

‘Rose, Please,’ I say. ‘We can work this out.’

‘By ‘work this out’ you mean take me to an abortion clinic,’ she says. I don’t respond.

‘Get out of my house.’

‘Rose, please. Emerald is gone.’

‘I don’t care, Winston! Get out!’

I take another step forward and reach for her arm, but she pulls back. Then, in one swift motion, she steps forwards and slaps me across the face. I stand there, staring at her, feeling the sting on my cheek. ‘Fuck you,’ she says.

And then something inside of me ignites. I’m not sure what it is, but I know I’ve felt it before. Illuminated rage and aggression. My palms begin to sweat and my heart rate accelerates. My adrenaline is pumping and I can’t contain myself. I feel as though I’m going to explode.

Before I can even think about what I’m doing. I’m lunging forwards, grasping for her body as she jumps back and tries to run from me. I grab her by the arm and yank her towards me. She lets out a scream and kicks me in the shin. I topple forwards, trying to ignore the sharp pain in my leg.

She turns around and begins to run forwards. I lunge after her once more and grab her by the hair, yanking her backwards. I ease up on my grip, and at the same time, she pushes forwards, launching herself directly towards the counter.

It all happens so fast. Her thick, dark hair leaving my hands, falling forwards, bashing her head off the edge of the counter, collapsing face first to the ground. She lies there on the kitchen floor, motionless.

‘Rose,’ I say gently, realizing that she may be seriously hurt. I kneel down and crawl over to her. ‘Rose,’ I say again.

I place my hand on her back to shake her, but she doesn’t move. I grasp her shoulders and roll her over so she’s facing me. Her eyes are open and there’s a pool of dark red blood gushing from a large gash in her forehead.

‘ROSIE!’ I frantically pull her onto my lap and shake her, trying to bring her back into consciousness. I lean down, placing my ear to her chest. She’s not breathing.

My heart is beating faster now, as though any minute it’s going to jump right out of my chest, I bring two fingers to her neck, trying to feel for a pulse, but there’s nothing.

My body begins to tremble and I feel a large pit arising in my stomach. Oh God, what have I done? What the fuck have I done….

TO BE CONTINUED.