GUILTY 24

CONTINUED FROM LAST NIGHT… I was so distraught that I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m still not. God, I don’t know how to do this. How do you deal with the fact that your six month old child is missing?’ he places his face in his hands, shaking his head. ‘I don’t know what to think, Honestly. And I know I shouldn’t take it out on her, but I can’t help it. I just can’t stop myself from thinking that this is somehow all her fault.’ ‘So you truly and honestly believe that your wife is responsible for your child’s disappearance?’ ‘She told me that she wished Emerald was never born.’ ‘But she’s better now, yes?’ ‘So we’re told.’ ‘But you don’t believe that?’ ‘Honestly, detective, I don’t know what to believe. And that scares me.’ ---- As of this moment, there’s nothing more I can go on. I feel like a sitting Duck. I debate whether I should make another round back to all of the witness’ houses, see if I can find any information that might have been overlooked. I can’t say that I feel reassured after my conversation with Winston. He seems as thought he’s being honest, yet I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to the story that he’s not telling me. He gets so offended when I ask him the simplest of questions. Perhaps this is just his demeanour, how he is. But there is still more that I need to find out. Could his wife really have done this? He seems to believe so. And what about what Liam said over the phone about their marriage going downhill? Both Winston and Danny have told me that everything is fine between them. Everyone else seems to backup this notion. It is only Liam who has stated otherwise, yet I can’t help but feel there’s more weight to his words. Are Danny and Winston lying? Perhaps there was problems in the past, but they sorted things out and are fine now. Now that I think about it, everybody has lied about something or other. Savannah lied. Danny lied or is lying. Even Winston lied to his wife when he said he was out with the police. I guess lying has simply become the norm these days. There are too many factors to consider. Perhaps Liam was right about their marital issues. However, Danny and Winston could have worked things out since then. Either that, or both of them are lying and there’s more to the story that they’re not telling me. But why would someone lie and say that their marriage is fine when it’s not? Perhaps because a downhill marriage in the midst of a child’s disappearance is the most conspicuous of things. I make my way around the living room, giving updates to a few of the men who are posted around the house. The Waters’ probably aren’t ecstatic about the fact that so many officers have been in and out of their home for the past 48 HRS. But they are slowly dispersing. Only three remain - Sergeant Sol, Ashby and Maverick - spread out around the house, Doctor Eilsteen sits on the couch reading a book. I look around for Danny, I need to speak with her once more before I head out. I ask Doctor Eilsteen where she is and he points to the bedroom. Their house is large, but it’s somewhat easy to keep track of everyone’s whereabouts. I knock gently on the bedroom door, waiting for her to answer. When I don’t hear a response, I knock again, louder this time. Finally, after a few knocks, I push open the door and peer inside. Nobody’s there. Odd. Doctor Eilsteen said that she was in here. I walk down the hall and back to the office, even though I just came from there. I knock and push open the door. Winston’s still sitting at the desk. ‘Where’s Danny?’ I ask. He gives me an odd look, then says. ‘I thought she was with you?’ I turn from him and rush down the hall, opening every door on my way. Nothing. Finally, I reach the living room again and the remaining faces turn to look at me. ‘What’s wrong, Sully?’ Olivia asks when she sees my face. ‘Where is Danny?’ I look around, surveying the room. They turn and look at each other, puzzled. She’s not here, She’s gone.. --------- Danniella Waters Saturday May 20, 2016

I drive down James Andrew Street until I reach Hickory Cul de Sac. I’m speeding, going far over the limit, but that doesn’t seem to bother me. I need to get there, fast. Much like my driving, my mind is erratic, flooded with thoughts of panic, doubt and confusion. What has Savannah done? Why did she lie to the police? What could she possibly want with my daughter? I heard the officers in my living room conversing; they had to release her from police custody due to unverified claims and lack of evidence. I grabbed my keys and took off, sneaking out the back door without a trace. They’re too distracted to even pay attention to me, anyway. If not for Gerald, I could have gone unnoticed for hours. But since he showed up to the house shortly before my departure, I can count on him being hot on my trail. If I can just find Emerald and prove that Savannah did this, then they’ll believe me. They have to know that I didn’t do this. I’m innocent. I accelerate, my foot pressing hard on the pedal, passing residential homes, then eventually, reaching the condominiums. The look of Savannah’s posh building reminds me of the apartment I lived on when I turned twenty. After living on residence for a year at UWC, I got my own place just off campus. It was a homey, quaint little place. Not much, but enough. I only stayed there for about a year before moving on again. The places I lived were always temporary, waiting for something better to come along. That was until Winston and I decided to move in together after I graduated. He was going to the Dentistry Hall then, and we wanted a place for ourselves. However, nothing can compare to the home we live in now. The architecture, the homeliness of it, the memories that took place here. It will forever be known and remembered as the home we lived in together, where we got married, raised Emerald. I pull into a parking spot, slam the gear into neutral and park the car and march hastily towards the building. I wait impatiently as the elevator takes its time coming down, the concierge staring at me. It dings, opening its doors for me, and I step inside, hitting the number eight with my knuckle. Once the elevator reaches her floor, I dart down the hall and straight to her place. My fist connects with the door, banging continuously until she answers. The door swings open almost immediately. Savannah stands there, astonishment on her face. ‘Danny,’ her voice falters. ‘What are you doing here?’ I push past her, pacing the apartment. ‘Where is she!?’ I yell. She closes the door and turns to me. ‘Who?”

‘Don’t play stupid. Where is my daughter?’ ‘What are you talking about? What did the police say to you?’ ‘Enough. I know you have her. Where the hell is she?’ I stop pacing and stare at her, panting. I bring my arms up and cross them over my chest, waiting. She takes a step forward, slowly, as if approaching a wild animal. ‘Danny, you need to calm down. The police were mistaken. I have nothing to do with Emerald’s disappearance. Why do you think they released me?’ ‘Oh Bullshit!’ I yell, ‘You’re lying! You’re always lying!’ ‘What are you talking about?’ ‘You lied about being at my place. First you say you weren’t there, then you were. Which is it?’ Her facial expression alters and she looks scared, confused. ‘Danny, you honestly don’t remember, do you?’ ‘Stop. I know what you’re trying to do.’ ‘Honey, if you’re getting sick again….’ she reaches her arm out towards me. ‘Don’t!’ I yell and pull back from her. ‘No, don’t you dare play the ‘crazy’ card on me. I’m not crazy. Not anymore.’ ‘Danny,’ she says in a soft voice now. ‘I was at your place on Thursday morning. So was Winston. You Don’t remember?’ ‘Stop doing that! Stop lying!’ ‘I’m not lying,’ ‘I think I would know if you were at my place.’ ‘Unless you had a mental break. Sometimes that can happen with people who suffer from postpartum psychosis. They have delusions, hallucinations, black outs. Especially after incidents of trauma.’ ‘What are you talking about?’ ‘And those meds you were on. They probably made your mind so much worse. That’s why I see a naturopath…’ ‘Have you lost your mind?” She stares at me, wide eyed, insulted to have been cut off. ‘Have I lost my mind? Danny, you’re the only one who sounds crazy right now. You’re delusional!’ ‘I’m calling the police,’ I reach into my pocket and grab my phone. She lurches forward and snatches it out of my hands. ‘What are you doing?’ I bark. ‘You have this all wrong, Danny. We’re going to get you help, okay?’ I reach for the phone, attempting to grab it from her hands, but she’s too quick and pulls away before I have the chance. She takes a step backwards, away from me. ‘Why are you doing this!?’ I yell. ‘Why did you take my daughter?’ I stare at her, breathing heavily. Then it hits me. ‘It’s because of your baby, isn’t it? You lost yours so you think you can just take mine?’ ‘Danny!’ she yells, finally. ‘Stop!’ So I do. I don’t speak. I just stare at her. ‘I need to find Emerald. They think I did this.’ ‘Well, did you?’ Silence. ‘Are you kidding me? You too? You think I did this?’ ‘Honestly. Danny. I don’t know what to believe. You come here yelling and acting crazy. And after Thursday morning… Who knows what you could have done. I’m assuming you don’t remember what happened Wednesday, either?’ ‘Wednesday? What are you talking about?’ She shakes her head. ‘You really are having a psychotic break.’ ‘Fuck You!’ I spit. ‘I’m not crazy. I didn’t kill my daughter.’ ‘Are you sure about that?’ At the sound of those five words, the floodgates are open and it is impossible for my body to withstand the brimming rage any longer. I lurch forwards and dive on Savannah, ripping the phone from her hands and throwing it across the floor. It skids and bounces off the wall. An animalistic cry escapes my throat as I pin her down with one hand, and slap her face with the free one. She’s strong, though, more that I gave her credit for. She’s holding me back, resisting my push, holding me as far away from her face as possible. For her, this act isn’t difficult. For me, it’s taking all of my strength not to be pushed off. She digs her long nails into my arm and I falter. She uses this opportunity to roll us over. She has the advantage now, and is on top of me. She crosses my arms over my chest and holds them there, preventing me from moving. I use all the strength I have left in me a to jerk forward and knock her off of me, leaving her tumbling to the side. I sit up, but she recovers quickly and dives on me once again. I bring my leg up to kick her, and use my arms to push her sideways. I jump on top of her once again and pin down her arms. It’s then that the door swings open and I hear footsteps and yelling. People are here. Lots of them. But I can’t focus on them. Not now. My vision is blurry and there’s a deep pounding in my head. Eventually, once I can hold on no longer, I release my grip. She uses this opportunity to knock me off of her with full force. I feel the hands wrap around my arms, my body, yanking me up. I’m being dragged. There’s yelling. The pounding is getting deeper. I open my mouth to say something, but all I hear is a loud ringing in my ears before my vision goes black. ------ I slowly fade into consciousness. There’s a pounding in my head and I’m unsure of the source. I open my eyes, adjusting to the dim light, and take in my surroundings. I’m in my bedroom, lying in my bed. Once I see him sitting in his usual spot in the corner, I jolt upwards, wondering what the hell is going on. ‘What are you doing here?’ I gape. Doctor Kelvin closes the book he was reading and places it in his lap. ‘How are you feeling, Danny?’ ‘Why am I in bed? What happened?’ ‘You Don’t remember?’ I don’t respond. I stare at him, waiting for an answer. ‘What is the last thing you remember?’ He stands slowly and walks over to sit at the edge of my bed. ‘Um,’ I rack my brain, trying to remember. Fuck. Why is my head aching? Why do I feel as though whatever answer I give is going to be the wrong one? ‘I was in the living room, Speaking with Detective Sullivan.’ He keeps his expression neutral, but I can tell that something’s changed. He tried to hide it, but I saw it. Fear. He clears his throat. ‘What were the two of you speaking about?’ I lick my lips, wondering why they’re so dry. I need water. ‘I think … I think he was asking me about Savannah. A fight , maybe?’ ‘And that’s the last thing you remember?’ ‘I think so. Did something happen? Why am I in bed?’ ‘Danny,’ he says softly. He often does that when approaching a sensitive topic. ‘How often has this been happening?’ ‘Has what been happening?’ ‘Blackouts. Gaps of your memory, missing.’ I stare at him, perplexed. ‘What are you talking about?’ He sighs, adjusts the glasses that rest on his nose, ‘I wanted to believe you, Danny. I really did. I had no idea this was happening to you.’ ‘What are you talking about? What is happening to me?’ He returns his eyes to mine and I can tell this is difficult for him. ‘They found you at Savannah’s place. You were hysterical,’ he says. His words reach my chest first, causing my heart to accelerate, knocking the wind right out of my lungs. ‘You Don’t remember any of this?’ his eyes hold more sympathy than they are capable of. I’m speechless, unable to form the words if need to say. ‘No,’ I finally speak. ‘I couldn’t have. I have left the house, driven to Savannah’s and not even remember?’ ‘The blackouts, love. Dissociative amnesia. I’m assuming you’ve been experiencing them for the past few months. They can occur when you experience a traumatic event, a stressful situation, even. Rather than dealing with what has happened, your subconscious blocks it out.’ ‘No,’ is all I manage to say. ‘They can be brought on for a number of reasons. Say, a missing child.’ I look up and meet his eyes. ‘You’re not saying…’ ‘I don’t know, Danny. The only person who was home that day was you. Only you know what could have happened to Emerald.’ ‘But … you don’t think I hurt her, do you?’ ‘I want to believe that you had nothing to do with it. I really do . But if these blackouts have been happening for a while now, I’m not entirely sure what to believe anymore.’ ‘Doctor Kelvin,’ I pause. ‘Ricky. I didn’t hurt my daughter. I swear to you. Someone came in here and took her, and now I’m the scapegoat. Because of my mind.’ ‘Danny, even if you believe that entirely, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t other factors to consider. Something could have happened and your subconscious would have blocked it out. To the extent of your knowledge, you had nothing to do with Emerald’s disappearance. But that may not be the case.’ I shake my head, squeezing my eyes closed as the hot tears fall down my face. I whisper, ‘I’m not crazy.’ ‘Oh, Danny,’ he reaches out and places his hand over mine. Soft, gentle hands with the sole purpose of healing. ‘It will all be over soon.’ I look up at him, meeting his deep dark eyes. Even in the dim room I can see the very outline, the way the hazel specks form around the iris. ‘What do you mean?’ He tilts his head down, his eyes travelling the length of my body, stopping at my feet bulged under the blanket. He pulls back the covers and that’s when I see it. It’s black, strapped tightly around my ankle. There’s a tiny red light flashing intermittently. ‘What is that?’ His eyes hover over my ankle, then eventually find their way back to mine. ‘It’s for your own safety, Danny. We can’t have you leaving again.’

TO BE CONTINUED…