FAITH & HOPE 9

FAITH

Sunday morning. Faith awoke with a pounding headache and a mouth drier than the Sahara desert. She sat up in bed and looked around for a water bottle. There was none in sight. She threw off her blankets and tumbled out of bed, staggering down the hallway and into the bathroom. After sticking her mouth under the tap for five minutes and filling her stomach with cold water, she turned on the shower and got in. She closed her eyes and tried to think of nothing at all. With the scalding water running down her back, she focused on her breathing and the relaxing sensation that the head brought. But then the thoughts started coming, pouring into her brain all at once. She opened her eyes and brought her fist to her mouth. Focus on something else, she told herself. And so she did. She thought about last night. About Carson and Jake. About the alcohol and the fireworks. She had enjoyed herself and had a pleasantly good time, surprisingly. They had good conversations that made Faith feel as though she wasn’t entirely alone after all. Besides, Sebastian would be coming up today. She had something to look forward to. She got out of the shower and wrapped one of her mother’s new towels around her damp body. Mascara was still running down her cheeks, but she left it, deciding to keep the raccoon eyes rather than ruin her mother’s linen. ‘Do we have food yet?’ Faith asked as she entered the kitchen. It was ten o’clock. Her mother was sitting at the kitchen table drinking her coffee and flipping through the newspaper. ‘There’s a box of cereal in the cupboard,’ Claudia said, taking a sip from her mug. ‘What about milk?’ ‘You’ll have to eat it dry.’ ‘Gross.’ Faith opened the cupboard and brought out the box of cheerios. The package was left open, not surprisingly, by Donny. She put a handful into her mouth and chewed. ‘These are stale.’ ‘I’ll go out later.’ Claudia said, flipping the page. Faith grabbed a bowl, poured in the stale, milk - less cereal, and ate it with her fingers as she plopped herself down at the tables next to her mother. Claudia looked at her. ‘You are aware that we have silverware, yes?’ ‘I prefer to use my fingers when I’m fine dining.’ ‘You’re not a Neanderthal. Get a spoon.’ Faith rolled her eyes and stood, reaching around the drawer for a spoon. She found one and sat down again. As Faith ate her cereal; Claudia closed the newspaper and looked up, meeting her eyes. ‘Wear something nice, We’re going to church.’ ‘What?’ Faith mumbled with her mouth full. ‘We’re going to church.’ ‘When?’ ‘In an hour.’ Claudia said. ‘Well, it starts in an hour. We’ll leave here in forty - five minutes.’ Faith swallowed what was in her mouth. ‘Why the hell are we going to church?’ ‘Because we are Church goers, Faith - Marie. Now stop asking questions, finish your food, and get dressed. ‘Tsek the church!’ ‘Watch your damn mouth.’ ‘I don’t want to go.’ ‘I don’t care. Donny is going. He didn’t complain half as bad as you are right now.’ Faith laughed. ‘Don’t lie. Donny’s not going to church.’ ‘He is, Faith. Why don’t you grow up and stop acting like you’re five years old.’ That shut her up. Faith slammed the spoon down into her bowl, pushed out of her chair, and headed upstairs. But not before wiping her damp eyes all across her mother’s towel. One hour later, they were seated front row at St, Andrew’s Church, located just off the main strip of Willows. Faith chewed her bubble gum and attempted to block out the sound of the Pastor speaking. Her mother sat beside her, straight and well - postured, listening obediently to the man at the front as he spoke. Donny sat on the opposite side, slouched, but maintaining eye contact. At least he was paying attention. Faith hated church and didn’t understand why her mother insisted that they still attend. Sure, it was a big deal when the kids were young. Dress them up on Sunday, say a prayer, feel like good people. But now they were older. Their parents were divorced, for goodness sake. They couldn’t be model Christians anymore. The audacity her mother had to show her face in a church after what she did. Broke her promise to God. Please. After the service was over, Claudia dragged Faith and Donny over to the front of the room to meet the Preacher. ‘Gabriel,’ she smiled upon greeting him. ‘These are my children, Faith and Donny.’ ‘Pleasure to meet you both,’ he took Faith’s hand into his and held it there for a moment too long. Faith pulled away uncomfortably. Claudia said to her children, ‘Pastor Gabriel and I met yesterday afternoon in the town square. He insisted that we come to service today.’ ‘And I am so glad you did.’ Gabriel told them. ‘You will be attending every Sunday, yes?’ ‘Of course!’ Claudia beamed. Faith rolled her eyes. ‘I’m assuming you haven’t heard about our summer prograMme?’ Gabriel asked Claudia. ‘No, I have not. What is that?’ ‘It’s a church camp that runs for the summer. Keeps the kids entertained. And educated. God wants nothing more than to see them thriving.’ ‘Sounds wonderful,’ Claudia said. ‘How do we sign up?’ ‘Well,’ Gabriel said. ‘You can talk to me and I will put a word in with Sister Josie. She runs the registration portion of the camp.’ ‘Perfect,’ Claudia smiled. Faith laughed and looked at her mother. ‘You’re going to Church Camp?’ ‘No,’ Claudia said, breaking eye contact from the Pastor to look at her daughter. ‘You are.’ Faith sat at the top of the slide, staring down at her feet. She hated this fucking park, and this fucking town. But this slide was nice. And she would sit here for as long as she wanted. Sebastian sat at the bottom, his hands fiddling with his shoes. ‘I’m not fucking going,’ Faith said. ‘I know. You’ve said that six times now.’ ‘She can’t make me. Not against my will. That’s like, child abuse.’ ‘It’s not child abuse.’ ‘I’m almost seventeen is this even legal?’ ‘She can make you do whatever she wants. Until you turn eighteen.’ ‘Uggghhh.’ ‘Serious question. Has anyone ever told you that you are the most over -dramatic person on the planet?’ ‘Shut the fuck up.’ ‘Come her,’ Sebastian gestured for her. Faith rolled her eyes, then slowly slid down the slide, landing in his arms. ‘It will all be okay,’ he stroked her hair, moving it out of her eyes. ‘It’s a fate worse than hell.’ Sebastian laughed, ‘You should have went to Art School. Became an actress.’ ‘Shut up,’ she punched his arm. ‘It would be better than what you’re doing now.’ ‘And what’s that? Dying in Willows? Going to fucking church camp?’ ‘Yes, and by the way, what exactly are you planning to do after High School?’ ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ ‘You have to start thinking soon, Faith. Planning.’ ‘ I still have a year.’ ‘Give or take,’ Sebastian said. ‘You need to start applying to schools this winter, most likely.’ ‘Oh Yeah? And what are you going to do?’ Sebastian shrugged. ‘I’m not worried. My dad will have me covered.’ ‘Must be nice,’ she rolled out of his arms and stood up. ‘Let’s do something,’ he said. ‘Like what?’ ‘I don’t know. Show me around Willows.’ ‘I don’t even know my way around fucking Willows.’ ‘Would you stop calling it that? It’s not so bad.’ ‘No, I’m going to continue calling it Fucking Willows until they change the stupid fucking sign, so that when you enter this God forsaken place, it reads in big bold letter, Welcome to this Dead town - Willows.’ ‘Your brother seems fine.’ ‘Yeah, that’s because he doesn’t do anything. He just stays in his room all day. It doesn’t matter what city or country he’s in.’ ‘You’ll get used to it. It will just take some time.’ ‘I don’t need your damn optimism, Seb.’ ‘Yes, you do.’ he stood up and reached for her, pulling her into his arms. ‘Look at me.’ ‘No.’ she struggled to pull away from him. ‘Look at me, woman!’ She stopped and obeyed. Sebastian stared into her eyes longingly, as though they were back in George, and things were how they used to be, and her world wasn’t unravelling. ‘Just shut up about Willows,’ he said. ‘And kiss me.’ So she did. They spent the next few hours exploring the town. While aggravating at first, it proved beneficial for Faith, who was now a permanent resident. She took him to Frenchie’s and they got Burgers and shakes. They walked around and explored the streets, memorized licence plate numbers, and checked inside people’s mailboxes. It was odd for Faith, being in such a small, remote place. There were hardly any cars on the roads, they were surrounded by fields and forests, and when you stopped talking, it was silent. It would definitely take some time to adjust here, she knew from the moment she arrived. But despite her resistance on this move, she was beginning to develop a miniscule hope for her future here. She wasn’t sure if it was Sebastian’s words, or perhaps it was the realization that she had fun last night after all. Either way, from that point forward, Faith made a pact with herself. She would try not to think negatively about Willows, and in turn, maybe Willows wouldn’t be so bad after all.