FAITH & HOPE 35

FAITH Faith felt out of her element. Firstly, there were females everywhere. Females in dresses, females wearing makeup, females chatting loudly and using many hand gestures. It was overwhelming to say the least. But at their little table, Faith felt secluded from it all. It was as though the rest of the room disappeared and it was only her and Hope. And their mother’s, of course. Faith was enjoying the evening thus far. Perhaps in the beginning she was a tad bit apprehensive and even quite sullen to the idea of putting on a dress and attending a dance with her mother. But things were taking an optimistic turn for the better. Understandably this was because of Hope. Faith wouldn’t have been able to endure a night out like this with her mother if it wasn’t for Hope’s presence and constant encouragement. She was grateful for her. After dinner was finished, the caterers brought out dessert, which consisted of crème brûlée and vanilla ice - cream. Faith was feeling slightly full from the meal but as always, she had room for dessert. As they ate, she glanced over at Hope. ‘You have some on your face.’ Hope froze, momentarily mortified. She reached for the napkin and brought it to her face in one quick motion. ‘I’m kidding,’ Faith laughed. Hope rolled her eyes, but Faith could tell that she was relieved. After that, they remained at the table, conversing with everyone else. As nice as the evening was, Faith was getting irritated. She wasn’t used to sitting still for such an extended period of time, and she felt the sudden urge to stand up and walk around, stretch her legs a bit. She could hear the conversations happening around her, but she wasn’t registering any of it. She was looking around the room, tapping her Foot on the ground, thinking of other things she could be doing. ‘Are you alright?’ Hope asked her quietly, just between them. Faith turned to her. ‘When do we actually get to the dancing portion of the night?’ ‘Getting impatient now, are we?’ ‘Yes, This is taking too long.’ ‘It shouldn’t be much longer, They like to allow time for everyone to digest their food and such.’ Faith exhaled. ‘Okay.’ It was another half hour after that when the moderator finally took the microphone and began the introduction. ‘Hello again,’ the woman started off. ‘I hope everyone enjoyed dinner. Again, we’d like to say a huge thank you to Marcel’s Catering for sponsoring this event,’ There was a round of applause. The woman smiled and waited for the clapping to cease. ‘Every year, we gather here in honour of Leslie Fox, a monumental woman and pillar of the community who, in 1968, started a fundraiser for cancer research. After her own mother passed away from cancer, she wanted to do everything she could to help future patients and their families. ‘In order to commemorate Leslie and her mother, we host the Leslie Fox Mother - Daughter Dance each and every year as a reminder to appreciate your mothers and your daughters. To appreciate everything they do and to never take them for granted. Tonight, we celebrate all of the women in this room, Tonight, we celebrate Leslie Fox. Tonight,’ she said once more. ‘We celebrate you.’ The music began and it was as though every woman in the room rose in sync. Faith watched as everyone stood with their mothers and made their way to the center of the floor. Hope and Joana seemed to float past the tables and chairs, somehow ending up in the very center of the room. Faith studied how they looked at each other, how they moved in sync, brought together by more than just music. They are the same, Faith thought. They make up each other’s DNA. Joana’s blood coursed through her daughter’s veins. And that look in her eyes - that look of pure love and admiration that Joana had for Hope - was magical. And Faith felt herself envying them. She turned to her left and saw her mother standing there uncomfortably, as if waiting for Faith’s cue, It took her a moment to gather herself and build up both the energy and the courage. She took in a breath and grabbed her mother’s hand, leading her to the dance floor. Claudia placed one hand around her daughter’s waist and grasped Faith’s hand in the other. Faith rested her free hand on her mother’s shoulder. It felt weird and forced, Faith thought. Contrived, like they were pretending to be something else. Trying to fit the mould of all the other women in the room, swaying in serenity with their daughters. ‘This is lame,’ Faith said quietly. ‘Can you try not to ruin this,’ Claudia said. ‘Please?’ Faith looked at her mother then. Really looked at her. She could see the emotion in her eyes. Joy turned to dismay. Pain, She really wanted this. Just a moment. ‘I’m sorry,’ Faith said, And then she did something that she hadn’t done in a long time - years, even. She leaned in and hugged her mother, wrapping both arms around her neck and burying her face into her shoulder. She could feel her mother tense, but only momentarily as though that was the last thing on earth she was expecting. But within seconds, she adjusted and held onto her daughter tightly, never letting go. For is she let go, she didn’t know what might happen, It was nearly nine o’clock when the evening wrapped and everyone began clearing out of the dining hall. The four walked out together, Claudia and Joana in yet another deep conversation about something Faith couldn’t care less about. Suddenly, Hope was grabbing her hand, pulling her out of the parking lot and towards the trees at the back. Faith walked hastily behind her, allowing herself to be pulled by Hope. They reached a small clearing and Hope adjusted her dress, sitting down cross - legged on the grass, She patted the ground and Faith sat down beside her. ‘What are we doing?’ Faith asked. ‘Just sitting for a moment. My mother is enjoying talking with yours.’ ‘Well, I’m glad they’re getting along.’ It was quiet. Faith could hear the distant sound of a night beetle buzzing in the trees. Other than that, the night was still and silent. ‘What did you think?’ Hope finally said. ‘Of the dance?’ Hope nodded. ‘It wasn’t bad. Not what I expected.’ ‘What did you expect?’ ‘I’m not sure. I don’t know how to explain it.’ ‘Well, did you have fun at least?’ ‘I think so. But only because you were there.’ ‘And I hope because of your mother.’ ‘Maybe.’ ‘I saw the two of you,’ Hope said. ‘It was sweet, You really got along well.’ ‘I don’t know…’ Faith said. ‘Maybe we had a moment or something.’ ‘I’m glad.’ It was quiet again. There was something on Faith’s mind that she couldn’t seem to put into words. ‘It just felt weird,’ she said all of a sudden. ‘What did?’ ‘Being there tonight. Surrounded by all of them.’ ‘Them as in … other human beings?’ ‘I don’t know. Girls, I guess.’ ‘How is that weird?’ Faith shrugged. ‘I can’t explain it. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.’ ‘Try me.’ Faith took in a breath, then exhaled slowly. ‘You fit in here, Hope. This is your town. Your community, Everyone adores you. You’re normal. You know what to say and what not to say. You like dresses and makeup and talking with people. I’m not like that. I don’t understand how all of this works. And being here tonight,’ she paused. ‘I don’t know, I guess it just sort of made me feel like an outcast. Like I didn’t belong.’ Hope was quiet for a moment as she took in Faith’s words. ‘You’re right - you don’t belong. You’re not like those other girls.’ She said, and Faith only looked more perplexed. ‘But that’s what makes you special. Because you’re different. You’re loud and obnoxious, but you’re also sweet and caring. You curse too much, but you make me feel something. Yes, we argue and disagree all the time, and I never argue or disagree with anyone. But it’s because you challenge me. You make me think about things that I never considered before. And when I’m with you, the rest of the world just fades away. You make me feel like I’m on top of the world. Like, I’m the only one that matters. So, yes, you may be different. You may stand out like a sore thumb. But that’s what I like the most about you. You’re unapologetic and you live your life without caring about what other people think. You’re just you.’ In that moment, there was nothing that Faith could say that would accurately depict how those words had made her feel. So she did the only thing she could think of, which was to kiss Hope like she was the only girl on earth…